When PTSD Attacks

When PTSD attacks

It doesn’t matter how you normally act.

It doesn’t matter what goal or pact you signed with yourself because you just feel sacked.

When PTSD attacks,

Your mind is focused on only one fact.

The trauma you faced begins to rant and pace, tearing apart your inner space in a fight or flight race just to feel safe.

When PTSD attacks,

You forget the accomplishments of your past. You feel like you’re coming in last and falling fast and each time you feel like this lowest point is your absolute best.

When PTSD attacks,

It gets easier to bounce back,

but that’s no guarantee that it won’t happen again, that the ease will become the trend, that you won’t lose your friends who say, “Why do you keep focusing on the past? When will this end?”

When PTSD attacks,

It’s hard to keep track.

Your mind races on how much time it spends following up on loose ends. All you think is how to make amends for another night of burdening your friends and, yes, you wonder when it all will end.

When PTSD attacks,

It continues to stack.

Those close to you stop laughing and joking, but start distancing and tip-toeing. You see more of your life before the trauma simply going away, so you think it would be better if you simply “go away.”

When PTSD attacks,

It really attacks.

It’s not a conscious effort or have a bad day. When it attacks, you feel like the prey, stalked each and every way and what do you say? “I’m doing okay,” even though you’ve grown to hate the question, “How was your day?”

When PTSD attacks,

Many put on an act.

Many self-medicate to push away that state and support the illusion that they’re stable and okay. They don’t talk about how they rate their success by the fate of the rest or berate their best because of that pain in their chest.

When PTSD attacks,

Many will turn their backs.

It’s not an easy wound to see or call. It’s not as easy as seeing someone who had just been mauled, so let me ask:

When someone breaks a leg, do you give them a crutch or do you let them fall?

It takes its toll. You hope for some compassionate soul to help you as you redefine your role, to stick by you as you find your purpose and heal your soul. Not for forever, but until you can hold your own.

This won’t be forever, but if you truly love someone and want to see them better, don’t send prayers or send them a letter. Don’t distance yourself with a text saying, “I hope you feel better.”

Be a crutch to take off the pressure.

Be there to help them relearn the lesson that they are worth the correction and deserving of affection because, when PTSD attacks, it doesn’t take long for the “end” to become the obsession.