As unwanted and I know I was walking up to front door for the party at my older sisters today,I went not so much for the party as hoping for once my children wouldn’t be with their dad which I never get to hopeful for and if they hadn’t been there I wasn’t staying… Although it was not so of my children to my surprise my oldest three as well as my brother were all crazy running to me as I entered the house 😍😆😆oh how I miss all the kids more then they will ever know!!! To put on a show of course my older sister hurried behind them as she proclaimed (watching slightly over her shoulder to make sure her guest were all eyes on her suicidal so far into drugs she can’t see straight to take care of her self let alone the kids they so graciously took from me since I’m a danger to them and me) Sister while leaning in for some bs hug that was actually an air pat so she wouldn’t need to make physical contact… Satan stakes in hell isn’t it enough you took my life and lied to do it now you must make a spectical out of the remaining dignity I’ve managed to salvage for myself and hold onto for what I’ve got left for what to build yourself up somemore by pretending to care for the very person who you screwed over and told they’d be better off just going and killing themselves less then 3 months after they overdosed on 5,000 tylenol because it hurt inside and they needed it to stop yet somehow survived how unlucky a simply shitty nightmare I’m going to live for the rest ofthe time my heart beats on. .. yup and as much as they can’t stand how I do my adult thing withthechildren I went ahead and gave my children the gifts I’ve been holding onto for them at her kids b day parties because that’s what I do ruin every ones lives for my own entertainment! Those few hours of pretending to play the mom role to some of my babies again were much needed those smiles and all that love my how big they get in such a short time of forever without them pure happiness is what they are my loves my life my babies my everything I’ll always miss what I don’t get anymore. ..
One Comment on “Just a beautifully lovely windy day, I must say today! ”
Marie,
I want you to know that I understand when the pain hurts so deep inside and all you want is to get rid of it, and remove the torment. Please, know that you are a treasure and it doesn’t matter what you did or did not do in your life, you shouldn’t be judged. I believe that your overdose of the medication was a scream for the pain to stop and leave. I hope that you can see yourself as I see you a special person with so much love that you are overflowing with it. Somehow in the hearts of your children they know that you love them, and love has a way of never leaving a person’s heart. I have accepted your friend request. I hope to one day see you in the chat room I go there and no one is ever there. It be a blessing to have a wonderful conversation with you some day.
I always try and take one moment of life at a time, because that is all I can handle.
Take care my Friend.
Laura