“And it shall be…

…that a man shall leave his mother and father, and join with his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” That’s from the book of Genesis. What a crock. Here I am at age 49, and because my (remote) work doesn’t pay me enough, I need to stay with my 88-year-old mom, having never married and having never had any children. The ABC Company that I referenced in my last blog post decided to hire a different candidate, so I have absolutely no irons in the fire as far as a career move that would get me out of this house and on my own.

This morning I went to church and near the conclusion of the service I just sat there with my head buried in my hands, eyes closed, motionless. Suddenly I felt several pairs of hands on my shoulders and back, and heard a woman’s voice praying for me. It was as though they somehow knew I had a broken soul and that I needed divine intervention. I wish like crazy that God would create that breakthrough that I need so badly, but the odds are very much stacked against me at this point. I just want to give up. This depression and hopelessness is really getting the best of me.