Back on October 17, 2000 my 4 girl’s were taken by CPS and put into foster care. They were 4, 5, 8 and 13. There were false allegations against their father.  My 8 year old was in counseling for bi polar and then I put my 5 year old in counseling as she was starting to follow my 8 year … Read More

I am very nervous about this post. This is something that this year will have happened 10 years ago. It is something that I’m realizing more and more has impacted the way I think and live. You kind of forget things like this when enough time passes. Like I said, it was 10 years ago, and no one really did … Read More

I found an email from this site today and I realized that I haven’t been here in more than 3 years. I got married. Got a dog. it’s nothing against my husband he is an amazing, charming, supportive, and loving man. He has Depression and Anxiety as well. Sometimes I feel like my PTSD guides me and the depression and … Read More

TRIGGER WARNING- RAPE I first met Mike after I took my first overdose just before I turned 13. My mom thought I needed spiritual guidance so she took me to church to see our youth minister (Mike). He was so nice to me! It wasn’t long before the first warning sign occurred.  I remember sitting the pew and he asked … Read More

No help for me anywhere.  hospitals say they help, but I don’t agree.  online hospital chat counselor just wants people with insurance (not me),  got a foggy mind., hard to see through the fog.  my friends now are named:  Anger, Frustrated, Isolation, etc.

Pissed off.  explozive anger.  extremely terrified of myself.  anger.  f—ed up.  not trusting anyone.  Sleeping on floor/behind furniture/in closets.  want to self-harm , but won’t.  yelling cuss words,  lost., frustrated., headaches, internal pain, hatred towards others.,JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.

After my recent battle of an attempt to die, my best friend shared her true feelings.  She was angry, frustrated, pissed off, hated me, etc.  I really didn’t think that if I succeeded that time, no one would be hurt.  Very untrue.  I have had a very difficult last two weeks, and thought about attempting my life again.  But I … Read More

Deep sleep is my goal for tonight.  I am going on a long gentle boat ride tonight in my mind in hopes to sleep sweet dreams.  Anyone want to come along? “My boat is named sweet dreams.  Let’s step gingerly onto the shaggy rug that lines the bottom of the boat.  Feel welcome to snuggle under the warm heated blankets … Read More

Out here on my own again, in a  the little town, no one knows my past, but only God knows  My secrets are far from me, as my tears rolling down my face, My isolation comes from my past, and yet longing for a friend.   Another day has past, whatever have I done?  Another day of isolation, to sooth my … Read More

Lately things feel more pointless than usual. I’m such a waste those around me. I can feel the intenseness of all the people who haven’t even met me but still hate me. Thousands, tens of thousands or maybe even more people hate me or believe that I’m a nuisance even without knowing me personally. I don’t think they’re right but … Read More