Does anyone else cry themselves to sleep or cry until they can feel the blood pulsing through your head?
Does anyone try to stop crying only to realize that the pain is both inside and out until your body feels like jello?
When people ask you if you’re okay you just smile and nod when in reality your head is screaming at you to end it all??
When everything seems pointless and when you try to describe yourself to other people, they just sit and stare as if they don’t have a clue of what you are speaking up about?!!!
This is how I’m starting to feel. Slowly and slower. Day by day, week by week. The pain never really ceases to stop along with the thunderstorm still following me around like a crippled shadow from forever ago.
Things have just no changed, and neither have I.
One Comment on “Does Anyone Else..?”
@jojo,
First off, it takes a lot of courage to let these feelings out. I want you to know that this is a safe space, and you will be supported endlessly here with us at FKB. Thank you for sharing, I cannot imagine that it was an easy thing to do, especially considering your explanation of how others tend to react to the way you feel. We understand that everyone feels differently, whether it be pain, sadness, anger, happiness, etc. Here, we do not judge, but fully accept and support every emotion you feel.
Second, I want you to know that you are not alone here. It might feel that way when you aren’t able to relate to anyone surrounding you, but many of us here understand that lack of support and connection to others and strive to be that for each other. I can’t imagine it being easy to find the energy to connect with others right now since it sounds like you are emotionally drained. These emotions can be too hard to bear sometimes, leading to thoughts of suicide. You are definitely not alone in this aspect either, as those thoughts are much more common than one might think. Something that might be helpful in processing these thoughts could be to call our 24/7 hotline at 866-728-7983. Other crisis counselors and I for FKB are the ones who answer this line at all times of the day and night for times you truly need a listening ear, someone to support, validate, and help you to keep safe during times of crisis. We want to help in any way we can and are also here to get you connected to local resources that you feel might help you right now. Typically, that consists of mental health related resources, but we can always explore other options if that is not what you are looking for or don’t feel that would help you in the moment.
I stress that we are here to help you navigate through this. We want to better understand what is happening in your life to cause these extremely painful emotions you are facing. Give us a shout, and we can talk through the thoughts you are having and come up with a plan together. Thank you for being courageous enough to reach out. That truly was the next step. 💗
~FKB Staff Anita