Back on October 17, 2000 my 4 girl’s were taken by CPS and put into foster care. They were 4, 5, 8 and 13. There were false allegations against their father. My 8 year old was in counseling for bi polar and then I put my 5 year old in counseling as she was starting to follow my 8 year old’s example and I wanted to help her see that what her older sister was doing was not ok. So her counselor had my 5 year old draw a picture of our family, my daughter was a very detailed person and there are 6 of us in the family and her session was 45 minutes long and when she was drawing clothes on us and she wasn’t quite finished and the counselor told her that her time was up.The the counselor brings me in her office and told me she thinks the girls are being molested because she (my daughter) did not draw clothes on her dad. I was outraged! I told her she probably didn’t have time. The counselor said she didn’t believe it. So I went into the waiting room and asked my daughter why she didn’t put clothes on daddy, she said with tears in her eyes, “I didn’t have time”. Just as I thought. So I told the counselor this and she refused to believe it. So she called the prosecuting DA and asked what she should do. The DA told her that they should remove the girl’s from the home. I was arrested and so was my husband. They said I neglected them. This was not true! I was in jail for 5 days, my sister put a second mortgage on her home in order to get me out. My husband was incarcerated at the same time as I. The state had 30 day’s to get all the evidence that they needed in order to prosecute him to the fullest extent. During this time CPS went to my 13 year old daughter( she is not my husbands biological daughter), and said to her if you say your dad molested you then we will let you go home. My daughter looked them in the eyes and said NO, I was taught not to lie. So they went to our 3 youngest girl’s and said the same thing to them that they said to my 13 year old and because they were so young and wanted to come home, they said he touched them. When we know for a fact he didn’t. They manipulated my girls. That is how they work. When it came time for the trial, the judge asked the state if they had the evidence they needed. CPS said they didn’t and they wanted more time. The Judge did not grant them any more time and told my husband (the girl’s father) that he was free to go.
We were battling CPS to get our girl’s back for over 3 years. During these 3 years we had done everything they had wanted and more. I only got to see them once a week supervised with a 2 way mirror so they could see and hear everything. They said I was not allowed to ask our girl’s any questions regarding the case and if I did they would end the visit. My husband never got to see them. CPS refused to give them back . They always had an excuse as to why they would not give them back. Eventually I got my 13 year old back when she was 16. She was mentally ruined from being in foster care by this time. They still would not give me the other 3 back. They literally told us to sign our parental rights away or they would keep our 3 younger girl’s in foster care until they each reached 18. They gave me a week to think about it. I agonized over it, sleepless nights, etc. I had to do what was best for them. It was the hardest decision of my life. I know I didn’t want them to languish in foster care because I know they would probably be split up and who know’s what would happen to them in the foster homes. I have heard of terrible thing’s that happen. So we ended up signing the papers and as I was doing so I was crying and tears were falling on the papers. By me signing the papers I was giving my girl’s a chance of at least of getting adopted and hopefully together. As it turned out they did get adopted all together into the same home. I am sure CPS already had this and the family they were going to all planned out. Because they were adopted shortly after the papers were signed. Everything was sealed so I did not know where they were or who they were with.
Life has never been the same. I have never gotten over this, I have never fully grieved over this. I am stuck and I cannot seem to move forward. I need help and support in the grieving process and to go through all the steps.
I know a lot of people do not believe that CPS is that horrible , but believe me they are. I am sad most every day, My girl’s are now all adults. I wonder every day how they are and if they will ever want contact or if they will or if I will ever find them. I’m sorry this is so long and there is more to this but this has been so overwhelming…….
If anyone has any way’s or tips on how to grieve fully so I can move on it would be appreciated.