My story is about a love story. I have been in 3 relationships my whole life. I am 59 years old, and was married at age 19. After raising five kids and working multiple jobs, I ended up divorcing my husband of 34 years. It was surely one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with. I loved my husband, why I’m not sure, after all he was emotionally abusive to me. Always negative and high on something. After I found out about his affair I left him. Then I met the greatest guy I could ever ask for. He was funny and charming. Treated me like a lady. Took me out often, and held doors for me. Liked to cuddle with me. After we dated for a while we moved in together. 8 months later he collapsed of a massive heart attack and passed away. I was in shock for a long time asking myself why. Then his friend got in touch with me about 2 years later. He asked me out but I wasn’t really sure I wanted to go out but I did. We got along great and after dating he moved in with me. After we lived in my apartment for about 6 months we decided to get a trailer together in a park near where his daughter lived. That was a mistake, 2 years later I found out he was an addict stealing from me and using me to get what he could out of me. And his daughter a huge thorn in my side always calling and stopping by, in one day she stopped by 23 time and called even more. So I could not stand to be in a 3 person relationship. Since then I have dated a few times but never seem to trust anyone anymore. The guy I am with now is nice, number 4, but I don’t love him like a want to love a man. I found out some things about him that I don’t like. He doesn’t like my kids. Treats them badly, I just don’t want to be alone. But can never seem to find a man that works out for me. I met someone on here that I fell in love with, but he didn’t love me enough to be with me I guess so I will have to make do. I cry practically every night because I am so unhappy. Not only that, but I lie to friends and family so they don’t have to worry about me anymore. I just don’t think they should be concerned about my happiness. After all, I will never be happy, this I truly do know. I just wish my true love could be here with me. That is all for now. I guess I will be crying my self to sleep every night for the rest of my life. And all alone at that. Thanks for reading, and hope you are lucky in love, at least luckier then me. 🙁
2 Comments on “lost without LOVE”
Update: Things couldn’t get much worse then they are. Sometimes I wish I could just crawl in a hole. No easy answers, no solutions, no future. Oh well, it is what it is. So, I cry myself to sleep and keep to myself now. What else is there to do. No hope for any type of happiness, not in my life time.
Hi AngelMary,
Your story carries a large measure of poignancy. After reading it I found myself wishing there were someone in close proximity to you who could give you a warm hug and accept everything about you with no criticism or questions asked. You certainly deserve at least that!
This is in reference to your story so I won’t go into my own except to say that I had the most amazing, respectful and loving relationship with my wife that I could have ever imagined. That is until her illness took all of it away. In a sense I can relate to what you’ve laid out here.
I hope things improve for you, and soon.
Please take care of yourself.
A fellow traveler, Danny.