Mom

My mom  is the entire world to me. She was my best friend. When I just started sixth grade my mom got diagnosed with cancer. That’s when my whole entire world changed. I watched my mom Get really sick from the chemo and I also watched all her long hair fall out. What was even worse was watching her cry as it fell out. My mom fought Cancer but she didn’t beat it. Sadly my mother passed away on October 10, 2013. And now it is September 2019 and I still miss her terribly.Losing my mother was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my entire life. My whole world came crashing down and I didn’t know what to do with myself anymore. I cried and cried and I wish that it was just a horrible dream and that my mom will just walk through the door and be like “hey guys I’m here.”. I am now miserable and depressed and I have major anxiety of losing people that I love. My mom died when I was just 18 years old and now I’m turning 25. And next month it’ll be six years since she’s been gone. Sometimes I feel like life isn’t fair because I don’t get to spend time with my mom as much as other people get to. I get jealous of people on Mother’s Day and Christmas Thanksgiving. And for a while I was even mad at God for taking my mom away when I needed her. I sometimes will cry myself to sleep and I even now because just the thought of her makes me so upset .  People always say that it gets better in time but I feel like the more that she’s gone I feel like it doesn’t get any better. I even feel like that it affects my relationship now with my boyfriend because I’m always so depressed and I have major anxiety. And I feel like ever since my mom has died my family has just kind of gone separate ways. I feel alone. I don’t know what to do anymore. Sometimes I feel like it’ll just be better if I had just died. To end my sadness.