“Must be fluent in sarcasm”

“Must be fluent in sarcasm.”  “Must have black hair and tattoos.”  “Must be able to take it as well as dish it out.”  “No, my pictures are NOT photoshopped.”  “High credit scores are a must.”  And my personal favorite: “Must have a fully-functioning, adequately-sized willy.”

These are actual phrases that I come across on women’s dating profiles all the time.

I just don’t get it.  Why do most women think that sarcasm is a good thing?  (It’s not.  Sarcasm is verbal abuse.  Period.)  Why in God’s name would they have a preference for a certain hair color?  Why would they want a relationship where all they’re doing is trading insults?  Why would they be so stuck on themselves that they would loudly proclaim that their pics are not Photoshopped?

It’s no wonder that my dates are few and far between.  My hair is the wrong color, I’m sensitive, I don’t have enough ink on my body, I’m not arrogant, and I’m not a member of the 800 club.

I guess it’s just as well.  During those rare times when I actually get a date, she sneaks out on me without explanation.

I want to be loved so badly, but I refuse to take a bath in Just for Men, act sarcastic, be insulting, get all stuck on myself, etc., etc.  I guess that’s why I’m an incel.  Sometimes I feel like I’d rather be dead than live in a world where the women hold all the cards.

(I apologize to any women I’ve offended–I know you must not all be like this.)