Rejection is so hard…

I thought things were beginning to turn around for me when I asked one of my single Facebook friends out for coffee and she said “sure”.  We planned on meeting for a cup of coffee at 9am on Saturday.  Earlier today she texted me, cancelling the date.  She said she didn’t realize that it was Christmas Eve day, and wanted to go up north to visit her kids.

I can totally understand that.  But here’s the problem.  Every time I suggested an alternate day, she came up with an excuse why it wouldn’t work.  And she never suggested to me any days that would work.  So I’ve concluded that for whatever reason, she has changed her mind about the whole thing and rejected me.

Half of me is saying “Screw her; it’s her loss”, and the other half is saying, “Whatever she sees in me that made her choose to reject me is going to be the same thing that will make ALL women reject me.”  I know deep down that that is incorrect, but it doesn’t stop me from thinking that way.

People half my age have found their better halves seemingly effortlessly, yet I still have to deal with this loneliness and rejection.  And during the holidays, no less.  Never been married, never had the privilege of bringing a child into the world, and it’s damn-near too late.  I need a miraculous breakthrough from up above, and God sure is taking his time.

This really, really hurts.